Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
