I think scott just propositioned me for sex
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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