ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize