omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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