porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
