i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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