you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
