Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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