I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
