IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
