the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
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why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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