The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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