if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's great music for shaving your balls
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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