im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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