For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
