look no pants
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
