We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
did i just pee glitter
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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