This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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