Girls should come with a carfax report
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Mom said you looked used
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
