You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
