I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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