is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize