there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
