...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
