just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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