He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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