I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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