please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Randomize
