No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We have started to decorate penises.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
