We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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