My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
