white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
