I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
