hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize