At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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