what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
