And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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