my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she smelled like a LAN party
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.