I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
