Your tits are I can't wait for
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
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Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
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He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.