i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
birth control should be required to get into college
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana