As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..