I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
