is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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