I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
