I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
