Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
splinters make it hard to masturbate
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
