Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
