Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
