went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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