garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
