But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
3pm strippers are depressing
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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