The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
