now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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