id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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