Did you just see the Batmobile???
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
