maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize