You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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