2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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