We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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