Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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