Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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