Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize