Whats the glycemic index on semen?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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