i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
