yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
