I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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