Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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